Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Alive
*heres my coloumn for the week. its more of a long poem this time. Enjoy, if you read this, if you like it, if you want it to continue through summer, email me @ legolasnumber@hotmail.com or IM me. I have the AIM my s/n is HHHthegame1999 COMENTS ARE NEEDED!*Downtown Saturday is always a strange time in Lincoln. It’s so odd, but it happens, the body of the city seems to roll over and yes, for a few hours, you can see the dark underbelly of the all American town. The streets are alive. You can feel it. In the air, in the water, and in the street. Timidly, bold, confidently or fearful, the people come out to mingle down town. Untold adventures, amazing odysseys they all originate from these few blocks. People meet, and chill and think and feel and bond and fuck. Downtown Lincoln is an interesting little zone. 5 out of 7 days a week it's dull and sleepy, but for 2 nights a week, 8 times a month, it’s a hot bed of activity. I’m sitting on a bench now. The heat is beginning to affect me. It’s the oppressive reign summer. And it starts tonight.I’m sitting on a bench at the corner of 12th and "O" street. The ninth police car in 20 minutes speeds past. Its sirens wailing with life. Two sorority girls stumble by. It looks like they left the bar early.“And then he…” the light turns green and the cars engines drown them out. I hear a loud squeal and an annoying pitch. The ricers are out. They always are. Big fin, small dick. A new motif for the car industry. Drunks and stoners. Cokeheads and smokers. These people exist, simultaneously and yet unaware of each other. Some are obviously gone. They aren’t the ones you have to worry about; they’re just loud and annoying. They are easily escaped. It the ones who are good at hiding it you have to watch. They will crush you if given the opportunity. Crush you like an ant, crush you like the night. I’m depressed. I walked by the fountain by the train depot.It’s prom night for some school. I don’t know which one. The hot girls and guys are posing for a picture. Smiling and having a good time. To their left, a girl sits alone. Obviously with the party. She looks sad and alone. I can feel for her. I was her back then. I hope things get better for her, but I’m not 100% sure though.I’m crying on the inside.I think.Such a confusing place. The club. The club downtown. A line stretches around the block. Clubs are the most interesting time to observe people. People trying to impress other people. Spending a lot of money on clothes that are barely even there. Waiting for the chance to impress a member of the opposite or same sex, depending on the person.I sit and smoke. Watching. Listening. Trying to taste the ambience. Trying to understand the motivations of these cross sections of life. What is it about dancing that people love so much? What is it about music that helps express the soul? What is it about the night that makes us less self conscience? I like the way businesses morph between day and night. In the day, the happy establishments are open. The sober establishments are open; the all-ages stores are open.Places seen by the general populace. At night, that all changes. The light places of toy stores and tool supply shops have gone into slumber. Replaced by the bars, strip clubs, restaurants and concerts.The sounds of loud music and the smell of vomit.Raw, real and gritty.Humanity.I try to drink it all in, but it’s too much to see and to take in at once. I need a notebook, but all I have is my memory. I stumble down the sidewalk. Drunk with experiences. High on life. As I walk down “O” street, I see an old friend of mine. “Hi…Andrew?”“Dan what’s up?”“Oh just walking along, trying to get in adventures, looking to fight some kung-fu.”We talk like this for a little bit. You know the stupid little conversations you have with people that you want to talk to, but you don’t want to talk to. Or you want to talk to, but you’re busy with something better. So we say good bye, and we move on. Easing down towards the park garage. I have an idea. I climb the stairway, legs aching. Heart pounding. When I reach the top, I look out over the city. I can see them, all of them. The mingling, the bonding. I can’t help but feel left out. Alone in my perch, viewing a city I hate as it shows it’s too good for me. I could cry, but I stare out in quiet contemplation.Asking the questions that plague me daily. Jealous, for those people out there aren’t concerned with. I spit. It falls to the street and I watch it. And I walk off towards my dorm. Sleep will be nice. Rest will be good. I get back to my room. I close my eyes, and I dream.I see them all dancing. Their motivations intermingling, their passions overlapping. Their histories intertwining.We’re all connected; we’re all apart of each other. We are one species, we are billions of cells. We are mankind.As slumber soothes my soul. I remember what had been lurking in my heart since the fall began. Since we were first imprisoned in coats, hats and heaters.The message we all can feel, and I know you feel the way I do. It’s echoing. We are restless and tired. Bored and afraid. Confused and scared. We need a time when we can be free. We need a time when we can sleep as we like. We need a time when we can reconnect. When we can excavate the friendships buried by activity. All these things will come to pass. All these things will come to be. Sooner or later all things must happen, and there’s only one time of the year it can happen.Only in summer. Only in summer. Only in summer.
posted by Dan # 12:59 AM