The end is Near...

So this is October? Funny. It doesn't seem like it. It doesn't seem like anything.

I'm reminded of two personal anniversaries, of sorts, from this time. I reminded of leaves falling, the wind from the north makes it's first appearence. There's a metaphor for all this. It's too damn tacky, even for me, so I'm not going to bother.

I've always loved this month. The transition month, The leaves aren't dead but you know they will be. The grass isn't brown, but it's getting there. The semester isn't over, but you know how it'll end.

There's just a peek at permanence. The seconds before a rock plunges into a river. It can't be changed. The course is inevitable. But what if? What if the laws of nature decided to go on sabbatical. For just one second? What if?

I've always liked my options open. Not much for settling down. In four months I've committed to and backed out of as many plans. This leaves something to be desired, yet nothing because then I'd have to chose.

The faint smell of wood and decay in the air. The leaves' crunch underfoot. The occasional warm day where you almost swear it's summer, before you remember.

I could live in this aesthetic.

I'll graduate. That's inevitable. I've busted ass and all-nightered and crammed and loved and hated and wept and danced and drank for four years. This is my due: A piece of paper and a thousand roads. Thoughtful and reckless like a chess game or a firefighter. This story can end anyway.

But now I'm just...I don't know. Teachers are like girls: they make scoring too easy sometimes. It doesn't matter. There's beauty in this state, particularly in this city and this campus. Living in an epiphany isn't as romantic as Keats led me to believe.

It's better.