Erotic Fiction Part II
So I have become so disgusted with the blindingly obvious formula behind all these sex novels that I have written my own to prove how fucking worthless they are.
Heres the formula:
1- The introduction where the narrator tries to make it subtle where the story is going but fails miserably:
I met JJ one night at a party downtown. I hated college because it made me tense. Thank God JJ was there to relieve my stress.
2- The Setting: How the moronic narrator ends up in the situation where sex is the "only outcome":
I showed up at the party late because I was busy studying. It's hard work being a communications major. People were starting to leave when I showed up and the keg was empty.
3- The Lust Object: A breif desciption of the person who is about to get some, usually guys are not described deeper than this:
JJ had a twelve beers, (and inches as I would find out later.) I knew him from around the union. His long eyelashes and bike were the talk of all the girls in my sorority.
4- The Whore: Usually the girl will be described about four time longer than this:
They all hated me because I was prettier than them. With my natural blonde hair and green eyes all the boys would go for me first. Sometimes I liked to war a short skirt to show off my thin legs and muscular ass.
5-The Gross Desciption of how the narrator's genitals are reacting:
I drank some of JJ's beer and was starting to feel horny. Just the thought of him ridin his bike around campus was getting me wet and I could feel the juices flowing out of my shaven cunt.
6-The Dialouge where the narrator creates a false pretense for sex:
"Do you have a car?" I asked.
"No, I have a truck," he said as he squinted his eyes and took a picture of himself.
"Can I see it?"
7- The beginning:
It was a warm spring evening and I could smell my juices when the breeze kicked up. My desire to grab JJ's cock grew more intense with every step toward his truck. When we finally got there we climbed into the bed and laid down.
"This is a big truck," I said smiling in a sexy way, "but I want to see something even bigger."
I unzipped his pants and took his swollen member into my mouth.
Heres the formula:
1- The introduction where the narrator tries to make it subtle where the story is going but fails miserably:
I met JJ one night at a party downtown. I hated college because it made me tense. Thank God JJ was there to relieve my stress.
2- The Setting: How the moronic narrator ends up in the situation where sex is the "only outcome":
I showed up at the party late because I was busy studying. It's hard work being a communications major. People were starting to leave when I showed up and the keg was empty.
3- The Lust Object: A breif desciption of the person who is about to get some, usually guys are not described deeper than this:
JJ had a twelve beers, (and inches as I would find out later.) I knew him from around the union. His long eyelashes and bike were the talk of all the girls in my sorority.
4- The Whore: Usually the girl will be described about four time longer than this:
They all hated me because I was prettier than them. With my natural blonde hair and green eyes all the boys would go for me first. Sometimes I liked to war a short skirt to show off my thin legs and muscular ass.
5-The Gross Desciption of how the narrator's genitals are reacting:
I drank some of JJ's beer and was starting to feel horny. Just the thought of him ridin his bike around campus was getting me wet and I could feel the juices flowing out of my shaven cunt.
6-The Dialouge where the narrator creates a false pretense for sex:
"Do you have a car?" I asked.
"No, I have a truck," he said as he squinted his eyes and took a picture of himself.
"Can I see it?"
7- The beginning:
It was a warm spring evening and I could smell my juices when the breeze kicked up. My desire to grab JJ's cock grew more intense with every step toward his truck. When we finally got there we climbed into the bed and laid down.
"This is a big truck," I said smiling in a sexy way, "but I want to see something even bigger."
I unzipped his pants and took his swollen member into my mouth.
posted by Dan at
1:15 PM
1 Comments:
Mocking erotic fiction huh?
(Could I please get a smaller barrel? The fish have too much room to squirm around in this one)
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