ROBOCOP 4
I haven't slept in so long. As a result I think everything here is gold. When I wake up tomorrow I'm going to hate myself.
I present to you the tentative outline for Robocop 4:
Robocop (played by Peter Weller) is shopping for babyfood at his local grocery store. Fifteen years have passed since the events of Robocop 3. Retired and useless, he watches Short Circuit and has sex with his refridgerator.
Meanwhile the citizens of Detroit, led by the token-black-guy mayor the keep electing for some unholy reason, voice their concerns that Robocop is depressed and becoming a threat to the community.Fearing he could return to his lifestyle of indiscrimately killing people with gaping chest wound kills and lecturing citizens on nutrition.
After visiting his old partner's grave to "remove" the baby food, the battered, malfunctioning cyborg returns to his home, to pray for death.
Meanwhile, The mysterious CEO of Omni Consumer Products know as the old man is about to be forced into retirment by his son, who will be played by John Stamos. The old man formulates a plan to stop the takeover, but it won't be easy. It is common knowledge around Detroit that Pirate gold is buried under the ghetto he failed to clear out in the third movie. Only one cyborg can make the zone stable again, so the old man goes in search of his former product.
John Stamos wants the pirate gold horribly, but since the defeat of the Samurai Robots by the cop/street punk team the alliance fell apart after both parties returned to their respective roles.
A new drug, Kane, is sweeping the ghetto. More addictive and more psychodelic than Nuke, users begin to experiance delusions of godhood after merely a few tries. It is administered through ear drops.
Computer Kid from Robocop 3 (I can't remember his/her gender) is now a major player at OCP. Using his/her computer genious to fire up the corperate ladder she/he hasn't contacted the inhabitants of the ghetto she/he escaped.
His/her claim to fame at OCP is the technology that programed Robocop's gaping-chest-wound kill prowess into even the most lathargic of police officers.
Robocop returns from his partner's grave. He is about to smoke when the council of anti-robocopness shows up on his door. They inform him that the time has come for him to shut down. He gladly abides.
With only one month left in his position as CEO of OCP the old man plans his glorious securing of the throne. By bringing back Robocop he plans to reprogram the cyborg to run wild over the ghetto, telling our hero that everyone in the ghetto is a criminal.
After reactivating Robocop, the old man realizes the error he made. Robocop did not want to be turned back on. The cyborg realizes that the only way he can get the 'retirement' he wants is to kill all the people in the world.
After killing the old guy with a gaping-chest-wound shot, he arms himself with guns and baby food and prepares to cut a path of gaping-chest-wounded bodies across the city. Heading towards the ghetto first because he wants to destroy the gold so everyone loses. Then he will crusade to exterminate humanity.
Robocop's mission goes well.
Kid from Robocop 3 is hears what his/her former friend is doing and decides to build a device to kill Robocop. Although armor-piercing guns never worked, Robocop has one famous weakness: Rebar.
Remembering that Red Foreman once bare handedly thrust a piece of rebar through Robocop, she/he knows there's only one choice and sets out building a rebar gun. He/she needs time to make it. While he/she races the clock, Robocop kills more and more people with gaping chest wound shots.
Cops, children, the elderly, he doesn't give a fuck as long as they die by gaping gun wounds in the chest.
John Stamos cranks up the Kane supply in the Robocop 3 ghetto. Everyone is feeling the effects. The street-punks and such begin to think they can't be killed by robo-gaping gunshot wounds to the chest and they are chosen by god to kill the cyborg that helped them not too long ago...
They attack the cops and steal the technology from their bodies that allows them to fire shots to the chest so well. John Stamos dispatches field surgeons to pose as hobos who know how to install advanced technology. The citizens of the ghetto believe they are angles.
John Stamos also installs a moronic fool (played by Peter Weller) as the head of the ghetto attack squads. He supplies arms and Kane to whip the crowd into a frenzy of gaping-chest wounding and anti-robocop sentiment.
John Stamos laughs with joy since the ghetto is about to be liquidated and he can get the gold and become the head of an even more powerful/evil corperation.
As Robocop's first spree comes to an end, he reaches the outskirts of the ghetto and begins the second. People are dying left and right but they keep fighting because the Kane makes each individual think he or she is the one chosen by god to kill Robocop.
The massive blood shed and painful screams entice Robocop and he wonders why he ever wanted to uphold the law.
As the body count goes higher and higher he arrives in the center of the ghetto where he is confronted by none other than kid from Robocop 3. He/she has completed the rebar gun and is ready to destory him.
As anticipated, the rebar gun kills Robocop. The citizens, angry that they weren't able to kill him and the friend's selling-out, turn upon kid from Robocop 3 and destroy him/her in an orgy of gaping chest wounds and gore.
The ghetto, having crushed itself, leaves John Stamos happy. Upon hearing the news that he will be claiming the gold, he does a line of coke off a hooker's tit and laughs with glee. He has sex with her all night then gets the gold and becomes richer and more powerful than at the start of the movie.
John Stamos wins, Peter Weller loses and the world makes sense again.
The End.
I present to you the tentative outline for Robocop 4:
Robocop (played by Peter Weller) is shopping for babyfood at his local grocery store. Fifteen years have passed since the events of Robocop 3. Retired and useless, he watches Short Circuit and has sex with his refridgerator.
Meanwhile the citizens of Detroit, led by the token-black-guy mayor the keep electing for some unholy reason, voice their concerns that Robocop is depressed and becoming a threat to the community.Fearing he could return to his lifestyle of indiscrimately killing people with gaping chest wound kills and lecturing citizens on nutrition.
After visiting his old partner's grave to "remove" the baby food, the battered, malfunctioning cyborg returns to his home, to pray for death.
Meanwhile, The mysterious CEO of Omni Consumer Products know as the old man is about to be forced into retirment by his son, who will be played by John Stamos. The old man formulates a plan to stop the takeover, but it won't be easy. It is common knowledge around Detroit that Pirate gold is buried under the ghetto he failed to clear out in the third movie. Only one cyborg can make the zone stable again, so the old man goes in search of his former product.
John Stamos wants the pirate gold horribly, but since the defeat of the Samurai Robots by the cop/street punk team the alliance fell apart after both parties returned to their respective roles.
A new drug, Kane, is sweeping the ghetto. More addictive and more psychodelic than Nuke, users begin to experiance delusions of godhood after merely a few tries. It is administered through ear drops.
Computer Kid from Robocop 3 (I can't remember his/her gender) is now a major player at OCP. Using his/her computer genious to fire up the corperate ladder she/he hasn't contacted the inhabitants of the ghetto she/he escaped.
His/her claim to fame at OCP is the technology that programed Robocop's gaping-chest-wound kill prowess into even the most lathargic of police officers.
Robocop returns from his partner's grave. He is about to smoke when the council of anti-robocopness shows up on his door. They inform him that the time has come for him to shut down. He gladly abides.
With only one month left in his position as CEO of OCP the old man plans his glorious securing of the throne. By bringing back Robocop he plans to reprogram the cyborg to run wild over the ghetto, telling our hero that everyone in the ghetto is a criminal.
After reactivating Robocop, the old man realizes the error he made. Robocop did not want to be turned back on. The cyborg realizes that the only way he can get the 'retirement' he wants is to kill all the people in the world.
After killing the old guy with a gaping-chest-wound shot, he arms himself with guns and baby food and prepares to cut a path of gaping-chest-wounded bodies across the city. Heading towards the ghetto first because he wants to destroy the gold so everyone loses. Then he will crusade to exterminate humanity.
Robocop's mission goes well.
Kid from Robocop 3 is hears what his/her former friend is doing and decides to build a device to kill Robocop. Although armor-piercing guns never worked, Robocop has one famous weakness: Rebar.
Remembering that Red Foreman once bare handedly thrust a piece of rebar through Robocop, she/he knows there's only one choice and sets out building a rebar gun. He/she needs time to make it. While he/she races the clock, Robocop kills more and more people with gaping chest wound shots.
Cops, children, the elderly, he doesn't give a fuck as long as they die by gaping gun wounds in the chest.
John Stamos cranks up the Kane supply in the Robocop 3 ghetto. Everyone is feeling the effects. The street-punks and such begin to think they can't be killed by robo-gaping gunshot wounds to the chest and they are chosen by god to kill the cyborg that helped them not too long ago...
They attack the cops and steal the technology from their bodies that allows them to fire shots to the chest so well. John Stamos dispatches field surgeons to pose as hobos who know how to install advanced technology. The citizens of the ghetto believe they are angles.
John Stamos also installs a moronic fool (played by Peter Weller) as the head of the ghetto attack squads. He supplies arms and Kane to whip the crowd into a frenzy of gaping-chest wounding and anti-robocop sentiment.
John Stamos laughs with joy since the ghetto is about to be liquidated and he can get the gold and become the head of an even more powerful/evil corperation.
As Robocop's first spree comes to an end, he reaches the outskirts of the ghetto and begins the second. People are dying left and right but they keep fighting because the Kane makes each individual think he or she is the one chosen by god to kill Robocop.
The massive blood shed and painful screams entice Robocop and he wonders why he ever wanted to uphold the law.
As the body count goes higher and higher he arrives in the center of the ghetto where he is confronted by none other than kid from Robocop 3. He/she has completed the rebar gun and is ready to destory him.
As anticipated, the rebar gun kills Robocop. The citizens, angry that they weren't able to kill him and the friend's selling-out, turn upon kid from Robocop 3 and destroy him/her in an orgy of gaping chest wounds and gore.
The ghetto, having crushed itself, leaves John Stamos happy. Upon hearing the news that he will be claiming the gold, he does a line of coke off a hooker's tit and laughs with glee. He has sex with her all night then gets the gold and becomes richer and more powerful than at the start of the movie.
John Stamos wins, Peter Weller loses and the world makes sense again.
The End.
posted by Dan at
6:50 AM
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