Erotic Stories

So I went to the raunchy porn store with JJ and John. I bought a three pack of porn short stories for the hell of it.

Needless to say they suck a lot.

So what else could I do?

I picked ten quotes from them and posted them here.

Enjoy.

10:
"what would you like to eat?" (guess where this is going.)
"You."

9:
"As I sucked on her right hand, Amanda placed a finger from her left hand in her pussy and braught it up to her own nose."
(HOT!)

8:
"I could here her cunt squelching from the front seat."
(How does a vagina squelch?)

7:
"After one little lover quarrel she brings out the strap-on cock."
(Healthy relationships are great.)

6:
"Every woman is made of a deliciosly different pattern--like snowflakes--no two are alike."
(Keen, not-redunadant observation.)

5:
"Creamy passion."
(Like cheese, or beer foam.)

4:
"As she impaled herself on David's monster cock..."
(What a great way to kill yourself, I mean describe sex.)

3:
"First I would like to thank you for a great publication."
(Yup, haven't agreed with anything this whole-heatedly since the invention of hamburger-earmuffs.)

2:
"...her nipples pointed at me like guns blazing."
(The simile I have always wanted to hear!)

1:
"My sister was so happy about me getting her pregnant that my cock stiffened and I filled her with cum again."
(If you have a weak stomach then don't read that.)

Well, what have we learned today? Porn is gross. Especially when it involves family members. I have decided to start my own porn short story magazine, its called "Limbless."

It's for all the dozens of people in the world who are attracted to amputee sex.

God bless America.