Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Way Back
Remember, if you can, along time ago. When we were kids and everything was beutiful, fresh and new. Those days were so long ago, and faded, and it seems the only way to rejog ones memory is to look at faded scraps of celluloid (pictures) to get a vauge sense of how you felt/acted/thought so long ago.I remember a lot of things, as I looked through the scrapbooks of my childhood. I remember my grandfather who died of lung cancer, time spent on the family farm, my first rated R movie.And while I bumbled down memory lane, I got to thinking about something. The times I remember most distinctly, fondly, and happily are summertimes.Tag until dark, catchin' fireflies, selling lemonaid, you know, the whole 9 yards. Those where the days that never wanted to end, that I thought about until the next summer, and wanted to cling to for the rest of my life. I loved that season, it was the only time when I was free. For three monthes out of the year, I dowed to nothing but my bedtime.Then I thought about the irony of it all.That sweet feeling of release I would feel when the bell rang on the last day has been replaced with a sense of dread for when I'd go home. That first month of summer where I'd relax and play games has been replaced with an aching back I got from work, and that sweet taste of not learning a damn thing is replaced with the fear that my lack of learning will put me at a loss come interview time.It's a very scary time of year, and an ironic thing to happen to those once idealistic monthes.And there's no point in trying to cling to those feelings, its futile. We'll all be working forty a week for a long time, my only hope is it's at a job I love and not Bag 'n Slave.Regardless, when we get older, summer is nothing more than a hotter time to go into work.This season means so little to me now, when it once ment so much. That is what is so making me sadder and sadder every damn day.Yet, when I think about it, its not the work that's bothering me, or the heat, its the fact that something I lovedis dead to me and I don't know how it happened. I'm becoming an adult and its happening to quickly. What it all boils doen to is that I feel like I'm getting way too old way too fast.Heres a good examples:When I was a freshman, I used to baby sit for a little boy and girl. A couple of hours a week, watch the kids, play with 'em feed 'em, no big deal.I saw them for the first time in five years yesterday. They where nine and ten years old. I couldn't belive it. And now John is just one year from graduating. Times getting weird on me here.I've already lost summer due to time speeding up, I'm almost afraid to see whats next.Theres only one way to finish this blog, it's with a quote from a Garth Brooks song:"I'm much to young to feel this damn old."
posted by Dan # 3:43 AM 0 comments
Way Back
Remember, if you can, along time ago. When we were kids and everything was beutiful, fresh and new. Those days were so long ago, and faded, and it seems the only way to rejog ones memory is to look at faded scraps of celluloid (pictures) to get a vauge sense of how you felt/acted/thought so long ago.I remember a lot of things, as I looked through the scrapbooks of my childhood. I remember my grandfather who died of lung cancer, time spent on the family farm, my first rated R movie.And while I bumbled down memory lane, I got to thinking about something. The times I remember most distinctly, fondly, and happily are summertimes.Tag until dark, catchin' fireflies, selling lemonaid, you know, the whole 9 yards. Those where the days that never wanted to end, that I thought about until the next summer, and wanted to cling to for the rest of my life. I loved that season, it was the only time when I was free. For three monthes out of the year, I dowed to nothing but my bedtime.Then I thought about the irony of it all.That sweet feeling of release I would feel when the bell rang on the last day has been replaced with a sense of dread for when I'd go home. That first month of summer where I'd relax and play games has been replaced with an aching back I got from work, and that sweet taste of not learning a damn thing is replaced with the fear that my lack of learning will put me at a loss come interview time.It's a very scary time of year, and an ironic thing to happen to those once idealistic monthes.And there's no point in trying to cling to those feelings, its futile. We'll all be working forty a week for a long time, my only hope is it's at a job I love and not Bag 'n Slave.Regardless, when we get older, summer is nothing more than a hotter time to go into work.This season means so little to me now, when it once ment so much. That is what is so making me sadder and sadder every damn day.Yet, when I think about it, its not the work that's bothering me, or the heat, its the fact that something I lovedis dead to me and I don't know how it happened. I'm becoming an adult and its happening to quickly. What it all boils doen to is that I feel like I'm getting way too old way too fast.Heres a good examples:When I was a freshman, I used to baby sit for a little boy and girl. A couple of hours a week, watch the kids, play with 'em feed 'em, no big deal.I saw them for the first time in five years yesterday. They where nine and ten years old. I couldn't belive it. And now John is just one year from graduating. Times getting weird on me here.I've already lost summer due to time speeding up, I'm almost afraid to see whats next.Theres only one way to finish this blog, it's with a quote from a Garth Brooks song:"I'm much to young to feel this damn old."
posted by Dan # 3:43 AM 0 comments
posted by Dan at
3:09 PM
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