One of my more insane moments

Here is a resonable fact similie of a conversation I had at work today.

Manager: Goddamn, Dan. This lady on (address withheld) called. I feel sorry for you. She's a fat bitch. Maybe she'd lose some fuckin' weight if she got up and got her own damn pizza instead of having us deliver.

Dan: I could kill her...

Manager: Huh?

Dan: Think about it, I'm the last person to touch her food. I hold her health in my hands! I could put pubes in it, sprinkle amonia on it, hell, I could stick my dick in her pizza if I felt like it.

Manager: ...?

Dan: I can make her sick! I can make her die! Until she gets her pizza I control her destiny! I'm god! I'M GOD! I control the fate of whoever buys a pizza here! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! I'M GOD!

Manager: God scrub the toilets.

Dan: Yes, sir. (under breath: I'm god.)