Wednesday, March 16, 2005
How It Could Have Been
Amazing how the course of time can be influenced by a single moment.I don't know why I did it. I don't know why I caved in. Maybe it was my pity for that fat pile, maybe it was boredom and maybe I just wanted to relive old times.My gut told me no. My plans had been configured. My cell phone was off and my course of action was clear.Ignore all his calls and claim ignorance later...He's not a bad guy by any means, just...boring. No exciting life stories or interesting personalioty quirks. No brilliant insights or even curiosity about life. He is content to live in his own little world.Fate had a plan of her own. A much more intriquite plan that I couldn't compete with.I was walking towards my home, satisfied that I wouldn't speak to him. I was smug and self satisfied.Then it happened. The timing couldn't have been better. We met casually on the corner. He was walking a perfect route for an intersection of our lives that would result in a stain I can't remove...Had I left 5 minutes earlier or five minutes later, had been in my room or getting a meal the whole mess could have been avoided.I lept into action, I fell back to the patronizing attitude I use on him. I acted nice, until the moment of truth arose."Wanna go drink?"My gut said no. It screamed it. I don't know why I didn't listen to my instincts but I did.You all know how this ends. I owe $250 to the government. I lost all respect for that man that day. I tryed to hang with him, but its not the same. The relationship has decayed. Now when I hear his voice I want to stab him.I know its my fault. I was free to say no. However, had
posted by Dan # 11:13 PM 0 comments