I have too much free time

I know I have been going crazy with the postlately, but it's vacation, my sleep schedule is fucked up, I'm bored and it's my blog-- I can do whatever the fuck I want.

After a conversation with Jeff I have gotten a good idea for a poem. I am posting a very rough draft (the Kerouac draft, if you will) here since more people can see it this way. I need suggestions. I like this and I think it could be good. Withno further delay, I present:

HIDE
I have seen the best minds
of my generation blown away
by RPGs.

Not rocket propelled
grenades.
the online kind.

I have awaken
to simulated shots
and screams

of a pixelated marine
falling to the ground
and moving no more

then being reborn
to do it
all over again.

I have seen rooms
over flow with crushed
coke cans, filled

with ants and gnats
buzzing around pizza
boxes from weeks ago.

I have watched friends
drop out and drop off
the face of the earth

because they were killing
terrorists. Practicing
for the real thing

as their bodies
turned to play dough
and faces grow stubble.

Entire lives have changed
during twenty-six hours
in the same position

in another land
another time
another life.

People for pixles(?)
friends for firewalls
life for death.

A new generation
needs a new addiction.
Not a physical escape,

a mental one. To change
into a dwarf or a cyborg
making corpses, becoming one.

Alone, content, docile.
Why fight for your life
when your online one

is more fun? Why stand
up for freedom
if you can sit down
and play it?

Why ask questions
about another person
when everything

you need to know
is summed up
in a profile.

A box.
A glare.
Electrons.

If you date
online
are you dating?

If you fuck
someone online
are you fucking

anyone
besides
yourself?

Constructive criticism is always welcome.