When I Get a Real Job I'll be Working Nights

Why is it that four in the morning appeals to me more than any other time of the day?

The serene, sublime nature of late nights its infinitly more beautiful than the glaring lights and endless motion of daytime. I chose this, and I love this. Around two in the afternoon I'm going to feel like shit. Everytime I do. For now I'm content to sit on my porch in the autumn chill and watch the people on the interstate, the only people I can see dumb enough to be awake right now.

Another cup of coffee,
437 gallons since I started college.
Another cigarette,
112,938 since I started college.
Another all-nighter,
way more than I ever thought I'd do.

The worst part is I don't want to change. The best part is I don't want to change. I love this quiet. I love this isolation. I love this.

Eventually, I will graduate and the abuses my body suffers will be gone. I can't live like this forever. Perhaps the fleeting nature of these nights is their beauty. These nights aren't made to last.

I'm reminded of a girl, long legs, big mouth, she's like this, perhaps that's why she appealed to me so much. She'd be gone before I was ready, she went before I was ready. I knew when we started this was a distinct possibility. I loved every second. I'd do it again. The only regret is I have nothing to regret.

The sun will come up. It always does. My silence replaced with loud engines and whining professors. I'd like to move on, but this is where degrees are earned. Not in the first three years. It's the last year that hurts.

It's not the now that gets you until the later.

It's not the girls you get, it's the ones you couldn't.

It's the nights you love and the daze you tolerate.