Monday, April 11, 2005
Dorking it up HARDCORE!!!
I'm sure that both of my faithful readers would like to know that the words they are reading right now were written on laptop! Thats right Tom and Nick, I am sitting not three feet from the fountain at the union writting this!!!Now for what I truely came to say:I always thought that having no place to sleeording to our guide into p would conote misey and pain but it doesn't. In fact accI kow many people are aware of my recent trip into the land of the homeless and I'm sure Nick (with his now infamous hobo fetish) would like to hear about it.What can I say about the homeless inOmaha, they have it pretty fucking sweet..Accoding to our guide to the 'people who walk the night' a man named chris williams, "Life on the streets is a fucking party." This cat had been on the streets for a week and he made more money than I did working as a janitor. Apparently the name of the gaame is husteling.This guy made $100 in a night!!!Panhandeling isn' where it's at, what you go to do is sell something, but look really pathetic while you do it. He had this clock with him, it cost $13 and he would wait until old people walked buy then he'd offer the clock for five or six bucks. People would give him a twenty then tell him to keep the clock!It was unuversal like clockwork (excuse the pun) Over and over and over he'd offer this clock, recieve a sum of money then keep the clock.On the night we were with him he got a free pizza, a free pack of cugerettes, $30 and a free beer.I think most people bought him stuff out of pity, and I'm sure he didn't give a fuck. Whatever got him his fix was all that mattered.He told us his tale, a tragic tale, but I'm sure there were a few lies thrown in, for the sake of garnishing more pity. He used to own his own company, 'Williams Roofing', then one day he was in a caar wreck. He said it wasn't his fault, and that the police lied on the accident report. He hurt his shoulders, neck, and back. His family got sick of his laziness, he got sick of phone calls from debters, so he just 'got the fuck out' and began his life on the streets.Our trip wasn't as lucarative as his. We posed as three kids who ran away from our foster home in Lincoln and were not sure where to go next. We tried Chris's suggestions but we were ignored, rejected and yes threatened.I had never been more impressed with Mark Ferg as I was that cold April night. The wind was at our backs and a group of wiggers, black guys and hot girls were walking our way."Does anybody wanna buy a watch?" he inquired."Man, they ain't homeless," the leader said "they just want the easy money."They surrounded us. Cut off every avenue of escape. My heart was pounding so hard my ribs hurt the next day. I thought it was over. I thought we would have to fight."I'll give you ten dollars a day to rake my lawn."Mark kept them at day, not showing fear he acted passive and uninterested in their opinions. This drove the leader crazy. He wanted to show off in front of his woman. He wantesd to be the big man. After ten minutes of harrassing us, he walked away.I was dumbfounded. We were still alive.
posted by Dan # 8:33 AM 2 comments