I Can't Get Behind...
Well, I hope you both have been enjoying the slew of postings on this site. Don't get used to it because when school starts again I'll go back to ignoring this thing.
I've been thinking a lot about things that I hate. Just stupid shit, pet peeves if you will, that drive me fucking nuts. Taking a que from Shatner and Rollins I have compiled a brief list of things I can't get behind.
1- Foot Notes: I hate reading a book, stopping, going to the bottom of the page, reading the explanation for the text, losing my spot, and being more confused then when I went to look at the damn foot note in the first place.
2- Small desks: I have a fucking desktop computer. I need a desktop that can hold it. I hate it when the fucking keyboard is either jammed up against my hands or halfway over the edge, coming dangerously close to falling off everytime I hit a key.
3- Internet jukeboxes: Yay! Every song humanity has ever recorded at your finger tips. But wait, the songs are a buck a piece, and you might end up having some fat chick play "Don't stop believein'" to relive her youth, completely missing the spirit of Journey.
4- People using their teeth like a swiss army knife: Your teeth can only handle so much. Why would you want to jeapordize them by opening up a Pepsi bottle or tearing open a bag of candy with them You're about to do some damage to your teeth anyways, why start the process before you even dive into it?
5- Cats: They go to the bathroom inside your house, they shed fur on everything, add another mouth for you to feed and don't even look cool. Why not take the contents out of a full vacuum bag, tape them together and once an hour kick it around the house. It's the same thing and you don't even have to feed it.
6- Rubbing your ears when you have a stocking cap on over them: Cotton, wool or polyester, it doesn't matter. Having this sensation numbs my spine and makes me wince.
7- Guy at bar who is cut off for the night but still wants more booze: It's over dude. Stop trying to guilt me into making the situation worse. I don't care if you'll buy me a beer if I buy you one, the bartender looks pissed and the bouncer hasn'y physically removed anybody for a while. Just sit down, shut up and wait for the fucking cab.
8- Paychecks that bounce: I did my job, why can't you do yours? I came in, did what I was supposed to and didn't stab anybody. How about giving me my reward? Don't you know that it's wrong to cheat a tryin' man?
9- Dictionaries that use the word you're looking up to define the word you went to the damn dictionary to figure out in the first place: obsess (v): to be obsessive. Yeah, no shit! Dictionarary (n): something that is supposed to help me.
10- Guys with blogs who rip off actors who played Capt. Kirk: If I wanted to here your pointless rip off of a William Shatner classic, I'd save myself the trouble and listen to his actual fucking song.
I've been thinking a lot about things that I hate. Just stupid shit, pet peeves if you will, that drive me fucking nuts. Taking a que from Shatner and Rollins I have compiled a brief list of things I can't get behind.
1- Foot Notes: I hate reading a book, stopping, going to the bottom of the page, reading the explanation for the text, losing my spot, and being more confused then when I went to look at the damn foot note in the first place.
2- Small desks: I have a fucking desktop computer. I need a desktop that can hold it. I hate it when the fucking keyboard is either jammed up against my hands or halfway over the edge, coming dangerously close to falling off everytime I hit a key.
3- Internet jukeboxes: Yay! Every song humanity has ever recorded at your finger tips. But wait, the songs are a buck a piece, and you might end up having some fat chick play "Don't stop believein'" to relive her youth, completely missing the spirit of Journey.
4- People using their teeth like a swiss army knife: Your teeth can only handle so much. Why would you want to jeapordize them by opening up a Pepsi bottle or tearing open a bag of candy with them You're about to do some damage to your teeth anyways, why start the process before you even dive into it?
5- Cats: They go to the bathroom inside your house, they shed fur on everything, add another mouth for you to feed and don't even look cool. Why not take the contents out of a full vacuum bag, tape them together and once an hour kick it around the house. It's the same thing and you don't even have to feed it.
6- Rubbing your ears when you have a stocking cap on over them: Cotton, wool or polyester, it doesn't matter. Having this sensation numbs my spine and makes me wince.
7- Guy at bar who is cut off for the night but still wants more booze: It's over dude. Stop trying to guilt me into making the situation worse. I don't care if you'll buy me a beer if I buy you one, the bartender looks pissed and the bouncer hasn'y physically removed anybody for a while. Just sit down, shut up and wait for the fucking cab.
8- Paychecks that bounce: I did my job, why can't you do yours? I came in, did what I was supposed to and didn't stab anybody. How about giving me my reward? Don't you know that it's wrong to cheat a tryin' man?
9- Dictionaries that use the word you're looking up to define the word you went to the damn dictionary to figure out in the first place: obsess (v): to be obsessive. Yeah, no shit! Dictionarary (n): something that is supposed to help me.
10- Guys with blogs who rip off actors who played Capt. Kirk: If I wanted to here your pointless rip off of a William Shatner classic, I'd save myself the trouble and listen to his actual fucking song.
posted by Dan at
6:16 AM
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