I Got Played

After having a good couple of days to reflect on the events of the past weekend, I finally can say that I can draw one solid conclusion: I got played.

Her name was Natalie. She is the one who played me. I will never again doubt the powers of an actress. She trained me over the course of three weeks into thinking she cared about me. I went along with this because I thought she was beauitful. She trained me to want her presence. She manipulated me into thinking she was more important than anything else. She tricked me into accepting her ways as the most important and everything I did should be done with her in mind.

I bought it. I believed every word of it. I should have reviewed her actions and seen the obvious but I was too blinded by her eyes to see what she was doing.

The stupidest thing that I did in the relationship came at about the three week mark. She told me she liked my friend better than she liked me. I was hurt but I let her go. After she talked to my friend and discovered that he didn't feel the same way, she came back to me, and I let her. She played me once.

Then we developed a system of "half-dating." We were in an open relationship--except I couldn't do anything with other girls, including talk to and look at them, but she could (and did) flirt with other guys and made out with at least one.

It's unfortunate that I allowed her to play me for as long as I did. Had it been just a few weeks longer she may be playing me still. However, the incident that broke me away from her manipulation came just five days ago.

While spectacularly drunk she stole my car while she was spectcularly high. She went to cure her munchies and she cured me of her. When she came back she couldn't even confront me about her wrong doing. I had to go to her.

In the cool Octobe night I finally said my peace. I told her she was manipulative. I told her she was controlling. I told her she was a liar. I told her everything that had been building up. I finally got to leave her behind...

The sad thing is if she called me right now, I'd answer.

The final thing that took me over the edge was the next day. I awoke to a text message I'll never forget. I only read it once, but I was so shocked I couldn't help but memorize it.

"I'm sorry. I still care about you. I was up all night crying."

Wow. She was still trying to play me even after everything that just happened. Apparently it wasn't enough to rip my heart open twice. I don't think she would have been satisfied until she had broken me completely in half.

What can I say I learned this weekend? I got played. I got played for longer than I should have. I take the blame because it was my fault. However, this isn't all bad. This is the first time I have ever been played and I hope it is the last. Now I know what to look for when I enter future relationships. I am grateful for this knowledge, because it will come in handy later on.

As for Natalie, I will forgive her. It won't do me any good to stay bitter at her forever. I do know that I will not forget this weekend and the way I felt when I realized someone I cared so much for betrayed me so horribly. She will never be my girlfriend. I know this for a fact. Whenever I look at her eyes now all I can see is the shit she put me through all because she could.

In the end I am stronger for this experiance. It could have been a lot worse. Whatever happens next will be okay because through all the experiances I have ever had, I learned a lot on that Friday. I know exactly what is like when somebody gets played.