For Comparison
I've been scrolling the blogs lately and have noticed a lot of people writing poems. Although I don't think poems should be limited to any group or groups of people, I do think the majority of people write shitty poems. I submit to my readers two poems. The first one I consider to be the average blog poem, the other to be on of my average poems. Dare to compare and tell me what you think:
Poem One: I Am by Heaven's Paradise:
I Am
I am a writer
I am a poet
I am a blonde
I am a blue-eyed girl
I am an introvert
I am in denial
I am a recovering self-mutilator
I am a girl recovering from depression
I am a recovering alocoholic
I am a recovering drug addict
I am dealing with the loss of two friends
I am a smoker
I am a rape victim
I am a recovering anorexic
I am a recovering bulimic
I am an inch away from relapse
I am only 19
I am
Now Hide by me:
I saw the best minds of my generation
blown away by RPGs, lost in a world of ogres
and demons, cyborgs and mutants, diving into
a country that never existed
fighting revolutions in a simulated era,
as pizza boxes grow old and infested,
possessing apartments and dormrooms,
covering the ground in a carpet of fast food
wrappers, socks glistening
with dried semen, half of a dead child
buried in the garbage of it's father,
skipping classes others would kill to be in,
emersing in a future that won't come,
typing erotic messages and nerotic errors
pulling out their simulated clocks,
ejaculating with help from a middle-aged
mailman in Ohio, living the same way,
losing jobs and wasting air,
smoking cigarettes,
throwing the butts on the floor,
satisfying desires for food, drink, sex, sleep
between (six)teen, twenty-(six) and thirty-(six) hour sessions
with a possesive box, spending parent's money
on electronic currency,
while begging girls in other states for codependant
roller coasters and never meeting,
dancing around and around
the circle of addiction,
waking up at seven at night,
forced into sleep at four the next morning,
never leaving the same four walls,
gaining weight, losing brains,
flies buzzing around their heads,
picking though their trash,
picking through their lives,
maggots squirming ten feet away,
ignoring visitors when dragons invade the new homeland,
while the old homeland is being depleted
more and more each day.
which is more effective?
Poem One: I Am by Heaven's Paradise:
I Am
I am a writer
I am a poet
I am a blonde
I am a blue-eyed girl
I am an introvert
I am in denial
I am a recovering self-mutilator
I am a girl recovering from depression
I am a recovering alocoholic
I am a recovering drug addict
I am dealing with the loss of two friends
I am a smoker
I am a rape victim
I am a recovering anorexic
I am a recovering bulimic
I am an inch away from relapse
I am only 19
I am
Now Hide by me:
I saw the best minds of my generation
blown away by RPGs, lost in a world of ogres
and demons, cyborgs and mutants, diving into
a country that never existed
fighting revolutions in a simulated era,
as pizza boxes grow old and infested,
possessing apartments and dormrooms,
covering the ground in a carpet of fast food
wrappers, socks glistening
with dried semen, half of a dead child
buried in the garbage of it's father,
skipping classes others would kill to be in,
emersing in a future that won't come,
typing erotic messages and nerotic errors
pulling out their simulated clocks,
ejaculating with help from a middle-aged
mailman in Ohio, living the same way,
losing jobs and wasting air,
smoking cigarettes,
throwing the butts on the floor,
satisfying desires for food, drink, sex, sleep
between (six)teen, twenty-(six) and thirty-(six) hour sessions
with a possesive box, spending parent's money
on electronic currency,
while begging girls in other states for codependant
roller coasters and never meeting,
dancing around and around
the circle of addiction,
waking up at seven at night,
forced into sleep at four the next morning,
never leaving the same four walls,
gaining weight, losing brains,
flies buzzing around their heads,
picking though their trash,
picking through their lives,
maggots squirming ten feet away,
ignoring visitors when dragons invade the new homeland,
while the old homeland is being depleted
more and more each day.
which is more effective?
posted by Dan at
11:08 PM
2 Comments:
while i know we have talked about this topic before, you seem to be very stuck on it these days. i hate to say this but i totally agree with parts of what you are saying. though i have seen many people play these stupid games, i guess i never really got the point of them. you run around buying potions, mystical swords and arrows, stabbing wood elfs, burning villages of babylon and raping horses and whatnot, but WHAT THE #### IS THE MOTHER ####### POINT TO THESE ####### GAMES?!?! they seems so ####### stupid and for some reason, so many ####### are playing them. i see so many little bastards playing them here at the dorms that it makes me want to turn a gun on myself. i hate those ####### bitchs. i wish i could throw them all into the sun and laugh as they burn into oblivion. i apologize to all the people i have hurt and peed on.
this is poem used to be an expressino of rage at the friends i have lost to video games, but it has evolved in to something more. I apologize if the content of this site has become a little redundant, but I honestly think the poem I have written is a piece of art
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