(Almost) One Year Later

There's something a lot of people don't know about me.

I smoke rocks.

Kidding. But seriously, what a lot of people don't know about Dan Fbach is he is a very sentimental person. This post will prove my point.

In nine days I will be moving out of my current place of residence. Although I am looking forward to the start of my tenure in the House of Awesome, I can't help but reflect upon my times here.

It's been a good almost-year at 2017. A lot of ups and a lot of downs. This was my first place that was mine. I signed the lease, I paid the bills and I enjoyed it. No matter where I go a part of me will always be here.

Here's a list of some of my favorite times here.

1- Moving in day. I couldn't sleep the night before and spent all of July 15, 2006 lugging furniture, clothes and books up the flight of stairs to this place. I didn't have a bed or desk at the time so I played music from a computer on the floor and slept on the ground.

2- The 'Hawk. Midnight the day before school began. I wanted a mohawk. Adam, using nothing but a pair of scissors and a razor managed to trim the 'hawk to resonable sexiness.

3- John's 'Hawk. A week after school started John decided to get a mohawk as well. In between sessions of trying on women's pants he got a 'hawk of comperable sexiness to mine.

4- Laying in bed with Penelope, smoking cigarettes and talking about the shit we thought was cool while trains, just a few miles awa,y blew their horns.

5- John: For god's sake close your butt cheeks.
Jeff: I CAN'T!!!

6- Watching the D.U.F.F. of all D.U.F.F.s puke and pass out on the vomit couch in our bathroom.

7- The Night of Vomiting.

8- Going from King of the Janitors to ITC bitch to Delivery Boy in the span of five weeks.

9- Rancid Sing-Along hour.

10- "Okay, who's drunk enough to make out with the fat chick?"

11- "Nig? What is nig?"
"You're a nig, nig!"

12- "Was it just me or were those cops hot?"
"I was hoping they'd give us a ticket for being naughty."

13- "Dude, Dan, I just came up with four Prime Directives for parties. One: Don't get naked. Two: Drink beer. Three: Drink more beer. Four: Do whatever you want."

14- "Yeah, communists are all down to party with government."

15- "TO THE MOON!"

16- Dan: JJ.
JJ: What?
Dan: I like you.
JJ: FUCK!

17- This box wine makes me so sleepy.

18- When the cops showed up and kicked everyone out, Mr. Dorr just wouldn't put his beer down.

19- The legendary battle of wills between Nicole G and me.

20- "Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry guys, I'm sorry. Sorry."

That went on a little longer than I thought it would a broke down quicker than I expected. The point is there was a lot of fun had here over the months. I'll miss this place.

Revision

Robert Goddard

Looking into boosters
like crystal balls.
You had to see
the future,

in the exhausted
October morning
as you split sheet metal
like skin
to build the house
for the original
liquid fuel.

In a later stage
of the day,
you took off
the nosecone
to install
the internal
systems
of the first
gyroscope.

Dreams become reality
You said.

You believed,

as the libel media
critiqued
in the name
of the earthbound
humanity
convention.

When the world war
ended
and the cold one
began,

the army questioned
von Braun’s boys.

Fresh from the Reich,
they injured egos
when they confessed:

you wrote their texts.

The Nameless Genius

For Robert Goddard

Looking into boosters like crystal balls.
I wonder if you really saw the future.
In a mad scientist’s coat
you examined the multilayered-onion
of the first gyroscope. In the grey
October morning you split
sheet meal like skin and built
the tank to house
the ultra-cool liquid fuel
nobody tried before.

Dreams become reality,
You said.

You believed.

On the front porch The New
York Times slandered you
in the name of convention.
The headlines proclaiming
your dream fallacy:
rockets were toys and nothing more.
Not tools, not vehicles
and most certainly not
weapons. Humanity
was meant to be Earthbound
forever.

Then the hot war ended
and the cold one began,
the government
called upon von Braun’s boys,
fresh from the Reich.

I imagine injured
egos
when they confessed:

You wrote their textbooks.

M-838

Hubble finally pulled its weight
and the scientists opened the champagne.
The news spread across the world.

First photographed supernova! they said.
Man has never seen
such crisp clear images of infinate power.

And I laughed.
It only took 20,000 years to find out.

One of my more insane moments

Here is a resonable fact similie of a conversation I had at work today.

Manager: Goddamn, Dan. This lady on (address withheld) called. I feel sorry for you. She's a fat bitch. Maybe she'd lose some fuckin' weight if she got up and got her own damn pizza instead of having us deliver.

Dan: I could kill her...

Manager: Huh?

Dan: Think about it, I'm the last person to touch her food. I hold her health in my hands! I could put pubes in it, sprinkle amonia on it, hell, I could stick my dick in her pizza if I felt like it.

Manager: ...?

Dan: I can make her sick! I can make her die! Until she gets her pizza I control her destiny! I'm god! I'M GOD! I control the fate of whoever buys a pizza here! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! I'M GOD!

Manager: God scrub the toilets.

Dan: Yes, sir. (under breath: I'm god.)

My "Stalker"

So much for something new in my life.

The "stalker" I mentioned on the last post turned out to be nothing fancy. He is just the paper guy. He listens to the police scanner while working. The reason he pulled up in front of my house is, strangely, the lady below us is the only person on this street who subscribes to the paper.

I ran into him at four in the morning coming back from Walgreens.

Oh well, let the boredom continue.

I Think I'm Being Stalked

Once in a while, and I don't know how often, I get this weird interferance on my computer's speakers. It's usually some kind of blurry gibberish. The last two times I've heard it, the voice said something about a Dale Earnhadart jacket and getting married. At first I thought it was interference from trucker CB radios or ghosts, but now I'm not so sure.

Last night I saw a red car or hatchback drive up in front of my house. This vehicle had a tall antannae mounted on its side. I saw the driver hold something to his mouth and whenever that happened my speakers would get a garbled voice. After about two or three sentances the driver through the car in reverse and floored it off of my street.

Some conclusions I have drawn:
1- Someone hired a hitman.
2- Someone has fallen in love with my writing, and therefor me.
3- Somebody has too much free time.
4- Somebody is doing an experiment.

I think it could be possible for all or none of these to be correct. If anyone reading this has any information, I would really appreciate it. If anyone reading this is responsible, tell me. I won't be mad, I just want to know what the fuck is going on.