Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Weary
Last night my body refused to sleep.Yesterday I barely ate.I have shit piling up around me on all sides.Class, newspaper, girlfriend, other friends are all changing up on me to teach me a lesson. A lesson I had suspicions about at the beginning of the year, but now have been fully realized.I have definantly bit off more the I can chew.From the moment I wake up, people are making demands of me. Some want me to do stuff with them, others want me to do stuff for them The 16 hours of class I signed up for in spring have come full circle to kick me in the teeth come fall.I don't usually get any sleep until late. It starts so innocently. I get a call, the call seems like it could be fun, so I go along with it and then, bam before I know it, four hours is gone, and I still haven't done my homework, it frazzles my nerves, and the caffeine/nicotine I use for escape ultimately come back to haunt me.I'm having stomach aches again.They creep up on me in the night like a thief, and stab me like a murderer. For hours I will have a swirling vortex of acids in my gut, and it takes hours to adapt to the pain enough to become comfortable enough to coax an uneasy sleep.Still, it's not all bad. I prefer this to my 'existance' last year about this time.All alone, with nothing to do. Waiting all day for a chance to go eat. A movie everynight to escape my boredom, a hollow, miserable life.I think, i know, my problem is a matter of circumstance. If I eat healthier, sleep more, and stand up for myself, things will be better.With a clear idea ahead of me for how to improve my situation, all who read this be warned, I'm a keg of gunpowder, please think before you speak.
posted by Dan # 2:02 PM 0 comments